IWantToBeAPoet

Hi. I’m Marcus and I…want to be a poet.
And I know what some of you are thinking.
“But Marcus! You’re a great poet.”…Really?
You telling me I’m a good poet is like me telling you, you’re beautiful.
You wouldn’t believe me either.
And that’s one of the reasons I want to be a poet.
I want to be able to tell you you’re beautiful in a way that would make you believe it yourself. But I don’t want to be your typical Romeo. I want to be that insensitive asshole that will tell you everything you don’t want to hear but still convince you that you’re pretty.

I want to tell you when the hair on your legs is getting spiky and out of hand. That when that happens, it reminds me of a hedgehog or a porcupine. The cutest little thing protecting itself from all the assholes out there that would complain, or make fun of you about it. Or like the thorns on the stem of a rose…

I want to tell you that all the make up you have on your face makes you look like a complete whore. Or a mime. Because I would think you were the prettiest girl I’ve ever met in just sweats and a ponytail. That I like your face on its own…like a biscuit from Popeyes…or just through a conversation on the phone without your voice being weighed down by Sephora products. I don’t even think that’s possible, unless they made a breathmint.

That your clumsiness, is the most adorable thing. And every single thing you’ve broken because of that…well, I didn’t like them anyway.
That you…are flat-chested. And I couldn’t care less. That way, nothing distracts me from looking your face. With the tiniest little nose, I’m surprised you can even smell anything.

Glasses on your face so you're scared of being called 'four eyes'. But look here four eyes, it's just more of your eyes to look into.

Because I want to tell you that you don’t have the most amazing blue…or hazel eyes behind those frames. And I’m fine with that. That I can spend hours lost in the darkness of your pupils and I swear to God that the night sky retreats into your eyes every time the sun is out.

I want to tell you. That you…are fat. But I like it because holding you keeps me warm in the wintertime. Or that you...are a midget and all the high heels in the world won't lift you higher than my chin. But they say the best things can come in the smallest packages and you are living proof that they can.

And I don't care if you tell the corniest and lamest jokes, because I still laugh knowing that you being funny doesn't matter because I'd try to be funny enough for the both of us.

I want to learn every single language in the world and tell you that you are beautiful in a different way every chance I got. But I would never tell you what it actually meant. So you would always wonder if I was saying something bad about you. Which I wouldn’t be, I promise.

I want to be a poet, just to tell you that it’s your imperfections that make you imperfectly perfect to me. Because I like your clumsiness, I like your flat chest and your little nose. I like your glasses, and I love your love-handles...well...eh. I like your dark eyes. I like every single one of those things because they make you...you. And I wouldn't have you any other way.

ACompletelyLogicalFearOfMonsters

Ever since I was a child, I’ve been scared of monsters.
But every time they would come up in conversation…I would just chuckle and smile. Trying to hide the fact that I checked underneath my bed and in my closet every night in some absurd routine. Putting my faith in the dream catcher hanging above my head every night I would lull myself to sleep but only nightmares were tangled in its net.
So I would fend off the shadows, armed with only a flashlight and my own words. Convincing myself that I would never be safe, and so I refused to sleep.

I thought I’d grown out of it. So every time they would come up in conversation I would just smile and say, “Monsters are just a figment of your imagination.”
But the older I’ve gotten, the more I’ve come to believe in monsters and the terrors that the night hides from rays of sunlight and the watchful eyes of God.
And I realized that the things that go bump in the night are only messengers sending codes in Morse, urging me to stop hiding in the corners of my room.
But I was scared.

Because I have not only seen a monster…I’ve seen one created before my very eyes. As it stood before me, fully formed, I could no longer smile.
So how could I not believe in monsters?
When I’ve seen you tear tears from the eyes of women like it was nothing but a game. A challenge…just to prove your own self worth. So you squeeze yourself into a human facsimile like a perverted version of Halloween.

Monster, how dare you look like me?
Masquerading as my reflection in the mirror. Controlling my actions by plucking on marionette strings by the names of envy and insecurity.
You thrive in the dark…always leaving me on a search for happiness I just can’t seem to find. You always insist on hiding it in the deepest corners of my existence so by design, I would spend my next lifetimes looking for it. Malevolent and cunning to the core, and when you speak…it reeks so strongly of sin and brimstone that it could make God cringe. Angels on the bus avoid you on instinct, and what was once beautiful wilts at your touch. I refuse to eat or drink, afraid that I would vomit more sin into the world because I can’t stomach how similar we are. Your behaviour sickens me.
Monster, how dare you walk like me, talk like me? Breathe the same air as me?
Monster, how dare you steal my innocence?
So to everyone the monster on top my bed has hurt, I’m sorry.
I’m sorry I’m too much alike every person that’s ever hurt you. I’m sorry that I never cared enough. Or that I cared too much. I’m sorry that I didn’t turn out to be the person that you wanted me to be.
So every time I look into your eyes, it’s torture. It torments me because I never wanted to be like you. Monster…why do you make me shoulder all the blame for what you’ve done?
So ever since then I’ve worked shifts of broken promises and contracts with strangers trying to send you back to where you came from. But even if I succeeded…another one would just take your place. Because the world is full of monsters like you.