ApparentlyI'mSoftSpoken

Sometimes I’m afraid of speaking.

I mumble because I’m incapacitated
With an illogical fear that my words
Would transform my shoulder blades into knives
Ready to treat my spinal column like chopping blocks.
My skin is frayed from the countless attempts
To see what’s beneath the surface
And I think my tongue is spying on me
Ready to betray my thoughts to the highest bidder
Just so they can judge me like they don’t already.
So I keep my secrets stapled to my lungs
Breathing empty reassurances and
Weightless confessions until I’m left mute.
And the fear keeps its grip firmly around my windpipe
So my voice resonates with all the force and authority
Of a silent night.
So I write.

In a society where we win bragging rights
And gift receipts for “I told you so”s,
Talk behind backs like there was
Soundproofing in our spines,
And real lies become synonymous
With what we realize
My words are well guarded
Behind walls of silence.
I’m soft spoken.