AListOfThingsYouMadeMeRethink

I remember falling in love with a girl that wanted to change the world.
So in comparison, whatever I did was never enough.
I told her I’d change how she saw the world, but that was a bluff
But I could never give her the true answer she was in search of to allow her to cure cancer.
I wrote poems for her…but that didn’t help with the AIDS epidemic.
I wrote a song for her…but that didn’t deliver food to starving children.
Whatever I did, there was a problem it didn’t solve…especially one.
There was the problem that...I just wanted to hold her hand and that never happened.
So she made me feel like shit.
But in the end she made me better.
Always striving for perfection to please her, looking for acceptance.
Though through those months I learned some things.

1. Nothing I did for you was ever enough. No matter how hard I tried to relate to your goals, how I tried to get along with your friends, or how hard I tried to understand you…you weren’t having that. You never noticed how hard I tried...so screw you.
2. I will never write another love song. And now I have more of a reason other than the fact that I can't sing.
3. You never really liked me back.
4. I hate that feeling when your leg falls asleep and you struggle to stand up.
5. I know the last one didn’t make sense but that was you and me. I fell for you…hard and you weren’t there. So the only thing that ended up happening was me stumbling and looking stupid.
6. I was stupid for liking you as long as I did….I hate you.
7. I was right about 3. You never really liked me back.
9. I skipped 8 because I remember you telling me it was your favourite number. And so were you, but that was once upon a time and now I can’t see the number 8 without thinking of you…thanks a lot.
10. I was way too nice to you. I gave you everything I could that you never asked for. Because now I realize that girls just want what they can’t have. They want a challenge, so I should have played hard to get. Why did no one tell me that!?
11. Without a shadow of a doubt you made me better.
12. So that makes me wonder that if we met now, instead of back then…maybe we would be together.
13. The fact that you didn’t like me made me realize what I had to change about myself. And because of that I get girls now. (I’m lying, no I don’t.)
14. I hate you.
15. As much as I hate you now, I have to thank you for being more than just another girl. Not even an ex-girlfriend…but an inspiration to change.

So I’m sorry if you never get to change the world.
But here’s the consolation prize. You changed me for good and until now, I thought that was just as hard.