PoetrySlamsAreFreakShows

Come one come all!
Step right up!
Marvel at the human oddities.
Come see these freaks of nature.
It will be the greatest show on Earth!
Don’t miss out!

ARE YOU READY!?

I’m here.
With all the confidence of the offspring
Of the bearded lady and the elephant man.
I’m putting all of my mistakes on display for you.

So do you like what you see?

Looking for strokes in my scars
Like God applied pain with a paint brush
And the stitches are tattooed into my flesh
From every time I’ve tried to put myself back together.
And if feels like I’ve done it wrong this time…
My insides are contortionists
Trying to juggle my secrets with my conscience.
Wishing for a samurai’s suicide
So I can spill my guts to you with honour.
But this is not a battlefield.
This is a freak show.

So you just sit there and watch me burn
In the heat of memories and honesty
Under the weight of your gaze
I’m just here for your enjoyment.

Do you like what you hear?

The ventriloquist poet on stage
Afraid of commitment so there’s no strings attached.
But don’t get too close
Or you’ll find out he’s human.

We are praised for being broken.
Raised by experience to breathe fire on stage
Never realizing that gasoline burns
And my words are carving grooves into my windpipe
Like I’m learning to swallow swords in reverse.

I grew hearts on my sleeves
Because the one in my chest always seems to get broken..
I’m conjoined to my past
And nightmares always creep into my bed of nails.
My closet is a graveyard for human skeletons
And I’m afraid that they’ll drag me in
Every time I try to change.

I bear my flaws for your entertainment.
So I can’t stop pretending
Can’t stop acting
Can’t stop dancing
Or you’ll find out that I’m not really alright.

But the show has to go on.
You paid the door charge
And you came here to see a show.
So here I am.

_an open letter for viviane.

“So tell me a story.”
That’s what you always said to me.
And every time I would wish I could tell you about a girl.
The first time I met her…it was awkward. And quiet.
We were both in the back seat and I couldn’t think of anything to say other than…”Hi.”
Because I could hardly speak like an SWV song.
But I promise I’ll work on it.
Maybe I’d say something cool like:

“AYO SHAWTY! You got cakes ma!
And today, I feel like being a pastry chef.
My hands could be the pin rolling up your back
Until your spine arches over sheets of red velvet
And it gets hot in here…No oven.”

But I’d never actually say that…
But with the nonsense I spoke she would fall asleep
To my voice like it was her favourite lullaby.

Or maybe I’d create a work of fiction where I could
Transform into what made you happy.
Sparkles and a unicorn.
And give you a bouquet of carrots.
I’d even wear gloves to do it
Because you don’t like people touching your food.
So I ask how I’d be able to cook you that Valentine’s day dinner.

Silence…
“So tell me something.”
That’s what you always said to me.

So let me tell you now..
A hippo can run faster than a man can.
Polar bears are left handed.
You’re not allowed to plow a cotton field with an elephant in North Carolina.
It takes up to four hours to hard boil an ostrich egg.

Or how I wish I could unlock my ribcage
To free the secrets I’ve trapped inside.
Just to watch them fly away
Along with the butterflies you gave me.
Hatched from cocoons of hi’s and hello’s
So the chrysalis they created could keep you safe.
Birthed from caterpillars that crawled like my skin did
When I realized we stopped talking.
I remember you telling me I didn’t fight for you.

And sometimes I regret how much I remember.
Or how I could never read you like the books you love so much
Or that I could never find what to say to you…
Like my words were your missing Archie comics.
Or how I hope that your grandmother pulled though.
And she’s doing fine chilling at home.
Then I realize that that was the last real conversation we had.
If you could call it that.

You always said you hated liars.
But I’m sorry for lying when I said
“I can’t sleep without talking to you.”
Truth is…talking to you kept me up for hours after.
Just so I could replay your voice in my head
Even after you’d fallen asleep already.
Straining my ears,
Hoping I could catch a stray whisper
Of your dreams past the static silence of a satellite signal.

And sometimes I still catch myself waiting for it.
But I know that those phone lines could never weave a safety net
Strong enough to break my fall
And my eardrums have retired
Because on days like this
I almost forget what your voice sounded like to begin with.

And sometimes…I still get those butterflies.
You can have them.
Along with this poem.
I remember asking you if you had a favourite.
So this is for you.
This is the one I haven’t written yet.

RobotUnicornAttack

I wanna be with you and make believe with you and live in harmony harmony ohhh love (8)

Sometimes I make believe that Robot Unicorns were real
Strategically planning to attack the world
And when they do we will all be spiraling down rainbow cylinders
With closed eyes

But you might be wondering what the hell a Robot Unicorn Attack is.

Urban Dictionary refers to it as:
“The definition of FUN. Chasing your dreams and gliding with dolphins as a robot unicorn jumps with rainbows and smashes through stars”

I refer to it as:
“ The definition of MAN. Chasing your dreams while riding dolphins as a robot unicorn running on rainbows and smashing through stars”

So open your eyes and see
That your closed eyes are the most open they will ever be
So stare into the mirror in the dark
And see your dreams though a kaleidoscope of goals and ambitions
Until their shadows start playing tricks with your eyes
And you lose the mirage you once considered your future

Until it hits you…that your eyes sometimes build lies
An illusion
And you stop chasing runaway dreams

That’s when the unicorns attack
Going for the dreams that we left behind
And we became what we’ve become
And not because we wanted it to be
But because it came to be
So we write apologies in the lining of chain letters
On napkins we mail to ourselves, so we can cry and give up hope
Knowing that no one will pay attention to the mistakes we admitted inside
When it’s easier to ride dolphins and catch rainbows as we reach for the stars
Never give up hope
Even if she’s the baby born on that one night stand with a wet dream
Or that flower growing in a crack in the concrete

Life never comes easy
It comes down harder than gravity
Sometimes you just want to fall on your knees
At all the wrong times
For all the wrong reasons

But you gotta keep going
Coming harder and harder
And never lose your balls

And understand that you need to raid the stars just to radiate the moon
And never let your grandfather clock tell you
“You don’t have enough time”
Because Time can suck my unicorn
And my hourglass has no boundaries
It’s rough childhood sandcastles in zero gravity
Built without the guidance of a pail and a parent

See if there’s a will there’s always a way
And my heart is a dream catcher
So I’m gonna catch my dreams
No matter what
Even if there are robot unicorns or stars blocking my way
Like this one is a couple inches too good
And that one is eating ten pieces of mars
And that one is a monster, floating in the abyss

And my dreams become championship titles
Held so everybody can see
And I defend them gratefully
Like robot unicorns jumping through rainbows
The only thing that will stop me is if I explode
Because my dreams are so wild even dreams can’t dream of such things
BOOM!
Like stars turning into star dust
I become one with the universe

S.A.R.A.H.

She makes me feel alive.
Like her presence force-fed me magnets
So my blood would thrum with electric currents when she passes by.
I’m an electron to her nucleus
I need to be around her.
But even magnetic fields paired with gravity
Can’t explain why I’m so attracted.

But I could.
Her footsteps make floorboards jump for joy
Like concrete foundations were trampolines for adolescent fantasies.
She makes me wish I were a better person.
Makes me think I know what God is like.
On the inside.
Like my skeleton was a crucifix
And my goosebumps were rosary beads
So I laugh when they say that love is blind.
Because if that’s the case, then my heart is a seeing eye dog
And my poems are prayers in Braille
Just to make it as easy as possible
For my sonar heartbeat to find yours.

I’m looking…for S.A.R.A.H.
Someone As Real As Her.

She’s a near death experience every time I look into her eyes.
Split second flashbacks of grainy home movies.
From first date, to wedding day,
To when our grandchildren graduate.
Projected onto the ceilings of cumulonimbus clouds
So they could never rain on our parade.
You could lead the marching band
Trumpets announcing your arrival
And the drums beat to a pace my heart set years ago
You conduct them with the sway of your stride
Like your hips were a metronome
So I could keep time and hold forever in my arms
While seconds slip away between the hands of my clock.
Time’s ticking.

But I’m still looking for S.A.R.A.H.