Conscience

I think I’m going crazy.
(Just a little bit)
Then please tell me what I’m supposed to do.
(You know I’m getting tired of looking over you)
I know that I’ve done some things that bother you. But now you’re just seasoning an open wound.
(You’re 0 for 2)
When my friends didn’t care, see I really opened up to you. I trusted you!
(It was beneficial for the both of us; you know it’s true)
So you were using me.
(Only guiding you along for what’s the best for you)
I never asked you to…get away from me.
(You know I’ll never leave)

I don’t want to know what’s right and wrong.
Interrupting the resentment every time I’d try to write a song.
Because I don’t belong. It’s just a fact to me.
Failed to mass-produce my genes.
(You were an error in the factory)
It never added up so I put it into factoring.
(Good and bad.)
I’m a product of the two, not what I chose to be.
Now strangers glare like I’m ET out of Roswell.
But for real, I just want to bump some Caldwell.
(What about Justin Bieber?)
Yo, he’s kind of like my idol though.
I watch Never Say Never when the day is moving kind of slow.
(Really?)
Naw, FUCK HIM! I’ll cut Usher’s vocal chords for finding him. And Selena? She’ll be another lonely girl because of him. And then his little fans can build a monument…
(Simmer down a bit)
I’m sorry. I’ve just been kind of moody lately. And I don’t think a single thing can even fucking change it.

And you didn’t guide me though. It was mostly luck. So stop talking to me. I don’t give a fuck. Why are you even here? I just wish for once you’d up and fucking disappear. You were mostly here to be my therapist. If you stay, then you’ll never hear the end of this. So please leave. I don’t want to hear your voice again. I’ll gladly write your eulogy, with a poisoned pen.
Didn’t I kill you off a while ago?
(It’ll take more than that for me to really go.
You said you need to breathe. A little space to feel the open breeze. That’s what you need of me. But if you really want, I guess it’s time I leave)

(Do the right thing) That’s what my angel spoke. The last words out of his mouth before I slit his throat.
(Fuck everything) That’s what the devil on my shoulder said. Then he bungee jumped off, now my conscience’s dead.

But I’ll be honest with you. I was lying just a little when I said I didn’t give a fuck. And I know that you’ve pretty much have had enough. You helped me deal with little issues in my family. The only one to take the time to even try to understand me. But…I’ve realized now that I need you here to help me out.
Hello? Oh, okay. I get it now.

I guess my head’s my solitude from this moment on. The break from the voice that I’ve been hoping for. I’ve made some bad decisions to atone for. And now it feels odd to be alone though. No one to turn to…