Here'sALetterToSociety,ISeeYouPassingMe

A few bad decisions and here I am.

Dropping out of school.
That fall out with my family.
Losing my job.
Those few extra drinks a week.
Or that one time curiosity got the best of me and soon it wasn’t a one-time thing anymore. I was addicted. Disposing of dollars like I had a surplus.
Trying to pull my way out of my own regrets, but just digging myself deeper. And deeper.

All because I wanted to forget.
Drowning my troubles at the bottom of alcohol bottles and medical syringes, but my problems are licensed scuba divers swimming in the wreckage of my Titanic dreams. So I did.
And I forgot. Everything.
And I lost…everything.

But the nights on the cold pavement can’t compare to your cold shoulders, but that’s the only form of contact I’m familiar with these days so I’ll take it. And the voices of my friends, my family…or even strangers; I miss you. Because the only sound I can rely on hearing now is my stomach growling like there were monsters in my ribcage.

Society…you’ve done more to keep me here than I ever could on my own. Because I can’t learn from my mistakes if you won’t let me learn to begin with.
Now my hope for change lies in the change at the bottom of empty coffee cups as my hands shake. Numb from wind that attacks my skin and veins like the contempt you exude when you walk by. I can feel it.
I’m used to the silence so you don’t have to say anything. But when you do…

You tell me “Get a job!”
But it doesn’t work like that.
Now ask yourself this…would you hire me?
Would you look past the filthy clothes a kind stranger gave to me. Or the dirt I can’t help but collect like pity from your eyes when you pass by me. Or the grandeur of the home I make in cardboard boxes, because you’ve already boxed me in…so it only seems fitting that I stay there. Or the sign in my hands…when you know I’d rather have food there instead because you can finance wars but you can’t spare a dollar for me.
So I ask you again…would you hire me?
Would you do anything? Or would you just ignore me?
Like you always do.