FeelingsOfUselessnessCanMakeOneCreative

I just feel so useless sometimes…
So I just stand there.
Like a contestant on some game show
And the questions consisted of words of comfort
Or life skills like doing laundry, or hammering a nail…
Or…being able to hold a conversation with a girl.

So I hang my head in shame
Looking at the well-worn toe boxes of my sneakers
Like the creases were wrinkles
Earned through years of experiences
And trials and tribulations
That make my life resemble history channel re-runs.

So I try to make myself seem worthwhile
I pretend that my hands are these…
Dreamcatchers
Picking up dreams like claw machines
To deposit them in your lap
Or giving you permission
To window shop into my whirlwind insides
With your x-ray vision.

Then I start imagining that my skin
Is the only thing holding me together.
And the fabric of my existence
Is just thread off some cheap knockoff
You can buy at your local flea market.
And it’s bursting at the seams
Unable to hold in all the…
Uselessness!
Like my soul just wants to burst out
At the first possible opportunity
Like a...premature ejaculation.

And it’s burdened by my collection of missed chances
Like old wishes at a Sick Kids hospital.
So my shoulders are fossils
Being turned into fuel from the peer pressure
Until my spine curves like question marks
Under the weight of your suggestions.

And my blood is molten lava
Flowing through tectonic ridge veins
Waiting for open mawed volcanoes to escape from
Alongside the growl of earthquakes
Like the stomach of a starved Cerberus.

So I hold onto these lines
I turned into my autobiography
Like the last gasp of oxygen
You manage to grab before you drown.

But even then…
I just feel so useless.