OutOfReach

Now I've participated in all the mind games and the heart pains. Moments you had me up in the sky like a drugged up airplane. But it was all a never-ending maze, an eternal journey to find the end. I know I had the time to spend, but I was getting annoyed trying to play pretend. The suspense. Trying to be there for you as a friend, but deep inside I was keeping a deep-dark secret. Shit I would later regret. Wishing I could reside in that space between the left and right hemispheres of your Limbic system. Know what you were feeling and coincide with the rhythm. I spilled out my feelings to you in bulk like Costco. But 700 days later, I finally lost hope. But truthfully. Now I'm just looking for a revelation full of honesty. I just want to know what it is I did wrong, why you don't feel the same way that I do. Had me racking my brain day and night like Einstein looking for a breakthrough. Now it's almost like I hate you. But don't get it wrong, I would still date you. But I'll never be like the way I was before. Fuck the sweet talking and fuck the being nice. It's just not worth it, now I'll try to be concise.

I don't know what started it, or what made it even worse. Maybe all the poems and verses I've rehearsed. Six songs about you all recorded on my computer. But personal experience is one hell of a tutor. They say opposites attract like protons and ions. Now it's mind over matter like the first album by Zion, Eyes can be blinded so I won't trust them again. Keep my heart safely locked in a chest that I'm able to defend. No more wearing my heart on my sleeve since my cuffs are all frayed and it's simply hanging by a thread. No more spending countless hours thinking about you while I'm sleepless in bed. I'm gettting you out of my head. And it's tough to admit, you're a hard habit to quit. But I'm kicking the emotional nicotine out the window and I can begin to omit...The fact that you even exist to the best of my ability. And please believe I say this with great humility. You'll never find another person like me. From Australia with koalas and kangaroos, to Antarctica with penguins and polar bears. And to think, I used to compare your importance to me, like the importance of air. But just to make this all fair, I know you're innocent of any evil intent I can blame you for. It's not your fault you had to close the door. Now, I never thought I'd be listening to a love song and relating it to myself. Much less it would be by N'Sync and how I felt like you put me on the shelf. But I guess I am selfish. "You can call me selfish. But all I want is your love. You can call me hopeless, but I'm hopelessly in love. You can call me unperfect. But who's perfect? Just tell me what do I have to do? To prove that I'm the only one for you. Now what's wrong with being selfish?"

Now amidst of all this renouncing of all my affections for you both past and present...I will tell you everything I never said in your presence. You're one of the nicest girls I've ever met, I could even say you were flawless. But reality slapped me across the face like a cold strike from Lucy Lawless. But I'm only being honest. You fit the mold of exactly what I look for in a soulmate. From personality to your whole face. The cute cheeks, nice eyes and perfect smile. You had my mind and heart whirling 'round and 'round like a turnstile. An infectious laugh that just made my stomach turn and my blood churn. Lesson learned. If someone's too good to be true, they're forever out of reach...