TheTits

Now here’s a list of what I look for in a girl…

TITS…
Really don’t matter to me. Because the only A’s, B’s, C’s and D’s I care about in a girl are on her report cards. I want an academic type of female, regardless of her cup size as long as she upsized on God-given intellect. I would find her sexier if she read William Shakespeare and The Great Gatsby instead of Elle, Cosmopolitan and Seventeen so she could know what to wear. If she wore glasses so she could read, instead of a corset to accent her hips and breasts, she’d be more attractive because personality don't jiggle and no one ogles a sense of humor.

EYES…
Don’t make much of a difference; it’s what she sees through her eyes that “eye” care about. A girl could have the most beautiful hazel eyes, but see the worst side of things. But a girl that sees the bright side of life is amazing…and I could stare into her poop colored irises for hours. Crystal clear blue eyes don’t change a thing if she’s blind to the world, blind to how much I care and blind to the fact that looks aren’t everything. Her exotic, slanted eyes don’t work as well when she doesn’t see the bigger picture and I have to resort to…forcing eye contact between us when she has her blinders on.

PERFECT LIPS…
Wouldn’t make much of a difference. As long as she could use hers to speak words that could make my blood boil, and my mind zone out. Regardless of her kissing ability, I would willingly sacrifice hearing a singer’s voice for the right choice of words being said to me instead of having intercourse. If she was mute…her lips would be nothing more than ornaments. So I look for what lies behind…the thoughts being said through her hands that I would rather have being held in mine.

She doesn’t need to have LONG, BLONDE HAIR…She could be Amber Rose bald for all I care. Which is kind of ironic...since Kanye loves one, but dislikes the other. But I couldn’t care less, as long as she got a passing grade from my mother.

And ASS…
Is nothing more than what you use to sit down. She could have an apple bottom, watermelon bottom, papaya bottom, or grape bottom…whatever that means…as long as she could sit across from me and have interesting conversation. The only curves I need on a girl are the distortions her voice makes in the air as she talks to me because I'd take Taylor Swift over Kim Kardashian any day.

LONG LEGS…
Aren’t that important. So long as she can take me places I’ve never even thought of, it’s an easy exception to make. Regardless of the state of her legs, she can limp right into my dreams…and yes, my heart is wheelchair accessible.

ELF EARS...YEAH! ELF EARS!

Now I’m not saying I’m not shallow. I wouldn’t say no to a supermodel, but I’m just looking as hard as I can for what makes a woman a person, instead of a Barbie doll. I’m trying to change attractive to appealing…interested to intriguing. Basically, I’m just looking for a better person than what lies on the outside. And maybe, she can help me become one too.