MyFirstLove

Looking out the window at rainbows and raindrops, I find myself reminiscing about my first love. See…

She came into my life like lightning, but stayed way longer than light flings. She’s left a lasting impression, working my way towards years of progression in several sessions consisting of nothing but simple conversation. The sight of her has my palms sweating…
I’m tongue tied…staring dumbstruck at curves like question marks, trying to think of something clever to say past a “Hi” and a wave. But the farther I reach in fathoms of her soul, the higher the waves. I’m a cast away, but I cast away fears of rejection and embrace her like my life depended on it. But without words my voice is left muted, attempting to remember my favourite lines hoping she would believe the depth of this fatal attraction through quotes of famous poets like Shihan and John Donne. In due time, she grows to accept the fact, I’m infatuated. And through the years I’ve known her, I’ve counted how many times she passes through my mind at any time of the day and the number is eight. Just turn it sideways.
Now she has me up in sleepless nights, fists clenched tight on ballpoint pens on the surface of paper. Writing love letters addressed to her in hopes that I get closer to undressing her…personality. Trying to understand every aspect of her to get into her good graces so she would allow me a means to find my way into her…mind so I can take away her various layers of…mystery to uncover the annals of her history.

You see, her words hit me similarly to punches from Pacquiao but the effect they have on me is beyond description. She makes me feel like…she makes me feel like...Okay, check this. She makes me feel like I can stand on top of Mount Everest and take one physical step towards enlightenment. She makes me feel like everything and every word in the world makes perfect sense when I am in contact with her, the clouds slow down; reaching towards us to envelop our souls in what I hope is marshmallowy flavoured goodness. She makes me feel like nothing can hurt me as I confide in her my deepest regrets and emotions regarding the life I live. She makes me feel like simple letters can’t combine into enough adjectives and superlative words in essays to describe how I actually feel about her.
But in the end she became my first love plus my closest friend. To you, this might seem like a fantasy, but I’m descriptive enough so that my make believe fans can see that she was there for me through everything. Through heartbreaks and pains, and she handed me the wisdom I’ve always wanted but never knew enough to find myself. She helped me find myself, to better comprehend why I do what I do, and after all that she and I have been through, I’m close enough to becoming bulletproof.

As a couple, she and I were like blue and sky, like green and grass, like tits and ass, like cookies and cream, like hide and seek as I began searching for the complicated facts that she hid from me. We were like Bonnie and Clyde, like Homer and Marge, like Batman and Robin, like Salt’nPepper but through the seasons, we both seasoned an adequate amount of words as they rolled off tongues to become melodies in the air. We were like Jack and Jill, like love and hate, like yes and no, like peace and quiet, like Bert and Ernie, like lock and key when she unlocked my heart as our deepest traits began fitting together like puzzle pieces, similar to chocolate and peanut butter in Reese’s Pieces now I hold part of her inside of me. We were like Adam and Eve and she was my Adam’s rib…God’s gift to me so I could refine my thoughts like fine wine in the hopes of standing before you and declaring myself poetically correct.

And if you don’t know, my first love is standing right next to me. And her name…is poetry.